Child Custody Issues to be Aware of

The state of California favors giving children access to both parents unless there is a legal basis to act otherwise. After the divorce is final, both parents should ideally get joint physical and legal custody. Nevertheless, if they have doubts about this arrangement, the court has the mandate to deliberate on custody. The court will act in the child's best interest when determining custody and visitation.

Going through a divorce is not easy, and custody only makes things more complicated. San Diego Family Law Attorney has accrued years of experience helping clients with custody negotiations. We understand how painful and emotionally draining this process can be and have curated a list of custody issues you need to know beforehand.

Custody Choices in San Diego

Deciding upon full or shared custody, and how much visitation time each parent gets is a serious matter that must be adequately weighted. We often see warring partners doing everything they can to win primary custody, and this can be due to selfish reasons. Getting back at a cheating spouse or using the kids as pawns to settle scores are common reasons for this behavior.

Before there is a trial or hearing to discuss custody and visitation, the court will order you to speak to a trained counselor on a parenting plan and temporary care. The Conciliation Court or Family Court Services arranges for these sessions in private offices or the vicinity of the courthouse. If the disputes are too much to bear, the judge will order a psychological evaluation on the family and enlist an attorney to represent the child.

Eventually, the judge can grant either of the following custody arrangements:

• Joint legal custody – both parents share the right and responsibility to make essential decisions about their kids' education, health, and general welfare.
• Sole legal custody - one parent has the right to make essential decisions on the kid's health, education, and welfare. For instance, where the kids go to school.
• Joint physical custody – in this plan, children spend time living with each parent routinely. How much time each parent gets depends on specific factors.
• Sole physical custody – this arrangement allows the child to live with one parent while the other parent gets visitation, and in certain circumstances, supervised visitation is necessary.

What Factors Affect Custody in San Diego?

The family court aims to honor the best interests of children and to achieve this; a judge will consider the following factors:

1. Emotional Connection between Parent and Child

The court will be interested in knowing which parent has the most significant emotional connection with the child. The Parent-Child Relationship is meant to nurture the physical, emotional, and social development of their offspring. This relationship lays a firm foundation that determines the child's behavior, personality, and choices in life, not to mention fostering excellent mental, physical, and emotional health.

Research derives that children who form a strong emotional bond with their parents have a better chance of forging and maintaining happy and content relationships with others. The child exhibits positive social behaviors, and they have stronger problem-solving skills. More so, children who enjoy healthy attachment to the parent tend to perform better academically, and this sets them on an upward trajectory in life.

Every parent can claim to have a secure emotional connection with their child, but the court will want tangible proof. What is the child's favorite food or television shows? How are the kids taking the divorce, and how are you explaining things to them? Are they responding better to one parent than the other, and why?

Responses to these questions and more will help the judge determine which parent is more actively involved in child-rearing, and how well (or not) they are faring. Please note, a working parent can also have an incredible connection with their child provided they purposefully allocate time to spend with their offspring. It could be weekend retreats, attending a parent-teacher conference on a school night, preparing dinner, and such.

2. Financial Capability to Raise a Child

The judge will be interested in knowing if you can provide for the child without your ex-spouse's intervention. If your partner was the sole breadwinner, how will you subsist without an income? Relying on alimony and child support checks is not a solid plan when you are fighting for child custody. You need to start finding employment so the court can see you worthy of remaining with the kids.

Earning a higher income does not automatically qualify someone as a better parent. This income must come with the inclination to spend money on necessities and other items for the child. Who arranges dental appointments? Who pays for childcare?

The ability to manage available funds, so they meet every critical need is vital. If one parent is terrible at handling money, awarding them, primary custody may expose the kids to less than stellar parenting. For instance, buying a new luxury vehicle may impress the kids but forgetting to pay tuition for private school is detrimental.

3. Everyday Care and Guidance

Parenting young children calls for proper time management skills, so every chore is completed on time. Working parents find balancing work and domestic duties even more challenging, and hiring a nanny or housekeeper may not be feasible. If you want to be granted primary custody, you must demonstrate an impressive ability to juggle tasks and to meet your children's needs.

Who puts the child to bed and narrates bed-time stories? Who attends football practice, and who spends the most time with the child? Other factors like instilling discipline, enrolling the child for extracurricular activities, parenting skills, managing the child's medical needs, etc. are also crucial.

Divorce is a tumultuous process, especially for children, as they may blame themselves for the desecration of your marriage. Being physically available to mind the children and ensure their lives carry on without any more disruption is essential. San Diego Family Law Attorney has many clients in a similar situation, and we advise them to be intentional in how they execute responsibilities for children.

If you have been absconding everyday tasks like making dinner, supervising homework, disciplining children, you need to start doing your fair share of parenting. The court does not favor absentee parents and much less when the children are young as this group is more dependent on the parent.

4. Relationship with Family Members

If there are older siblings involved, the court will want to know how the minor relates to them, including other people who reside in your household. You could be living with an elderly relative or other family members who will interact with the child frequently. If you have moved on with a new partner, how do they get along with your child?

The family unit is supposed to promote love and continued support as the child develops. Any element that undermines this goal must be removed to avoid hurting a child who is already emotionally vulnerable. The court highly desires good character from everyone who interacts with your child, and sometimes this means letting go of people. For example, if you are dating someone who doesn't care about raising kids, this partner is not an excellent fit for a primary or shared custody arrangement.

Alcohol and drug abuse is yet another thorny issue that can disqualify a parent from winning custody. If the parent or other household member is an addict, this environment is not safe for raising children. Your moral fitness and that of prospective marriage partners are crucial, and the court may deny custody if there are any concerns.

5. Education and Community Development

Children must continue with school so they don't lag behind their peers, as this will have adverse impacts down the line. If you are moving away from the family residence, you must have proper schooling arrangements to ensure the kids catch up soon. The court will want to know where the kids are enrolled, attendance, academic capabilities, extracurricular activities, and the kids' general attitude toward school.

Are you involved in the children's educational activities, and to what extent? Juvenile arrest records, if any, must also be revealed to family court officers, so they get a wholesome view of the child. The court needs to understand how your child is handling the divorce and establish the current needs to help the child cope. For instance, a child who is continuously bullying other kids at school could be acting out due to the separation.

Not every child reacts right away upon hearing divorce news. They act as though all is fine with then while hiding the stress and anger of the impending separation. If not appropriately addressed, this stress manifests in various ways such as physical aggression toward other students, insomnia, or loss of appetite.

Psychologists advise parents to be mindful of how they conduct themselves after breaking the divorce news and be ready to answer questions like are we moving? Kids also like to know how their day-to-day lives will be like, where they will spend holidays, if they can still get new toys and clothes, etc. Keeping things running maintains the support system children need to cope within and outside the home.

6. Parental Evaluation

On the whole, a family court judge will evaluate the above factors and see if primary or shared custody is the most excellent option. We advise clients to be open to fostering a relationship with the other parent, and in doing so, propose a favorable visitation schedule. Acting in bad faith is off-putting, especially when the other parent is perfectly capable of raising kids.

The court will encourage a personal evaluation for both parents where they explain the best and worst things regarding their parenting habits and relationship with the children in question. Evaluating each other on the same factors is also desired so the judge can get a clear picture of the family setting.

7. What Kids Prefer

Children also have a say in deciding custody, especially if they are mature enough. Your children may wish to remain in the same school, play with the same friends, and live close to other relatives. If you are the parent moving out of the family home, you may want to consider finding another place nearby. Moving across town or out of state may be too much change, and this may dissuade the kids from choosing you.

The San Diego Family Law Attorney has witnessed cases where one parent unabashedly bribes the kids, so they choose to stay with them after the marriage dissolves. We discourage these unsavory tactics as they are not in the best interest of children. Showering kids with luxurious gifts does not make one a more qualified parent. As we have seen in the previous section, rearing children is a labor-intensive commitment that requires serious thought.

Reaching a workable custody and visitation arrangement takes center stage and not just momentary but for the years following. If there are significant changes in either party's life, you can always seek a divorce modification to alter the terms of custody. For example, one parent may land a lucrative job out of state and chose to take it and improve the family's finances.

How Can I Boost My Chances of Winning Child Custody?

Child custody is a sensitive issue that can take a while for the court to determine what arrangement works and which parent is the most responsible one. In California, the court can start deliberating on custody and child support after the legal separation is granted pending marriage disillusionment. This process can be nerve-racking, and depending on your ex-partner temperament, you may petition the judge to grant temporary custody. We have curated a few handy tips to help you win custody during separation and after divorce.

1. Willingness to Collaborate

Your feelings about your ex-partner should not cloud your judgment when it comes to deciding your kids' future. The court needs to see your openness to discuss custody options to help kids cope with the new family dynamic. After all, you both want them to morph into wholesome people as they grow older.

2. Utilize your Parental Rights

Knowing your parental rights and evoking them in family court will go a long way in swaying the judge's decision. The court may have awarded temporary custody to your ex-partner after you become legally separated, but you still have a viable fighting chance to win custody. Honor the visitation dates and do fun things with the kids such as going to the movies, having slumber parties, going to the mall, etc.

3. Request Custody Evaluation

Serving your ex with divorce papers can lead to hard feelings, and they may be posturing to use custody as payback. The same outcome can happen if they – your former spouse – initiated the divorce. If you wish to bolster your chances of getting care, San Diego Family Law Attorney advises you to seek an in-home custody evaluation.  An evaluator's role is to assess your kids objectively

4. Retain a Custody Lawyer

Going through divorce and custody is overwhelming, and you may not understand the intricacies of family law. There is a lot of paperwork involved, and due process must be followed when filing them. You have the imperative to enlist a family law attorney to guide you on the right documents to bring to custody hearings. It could be an annotated visitation plan, receipts of child support payments, phone logs, and other pertinent records.

If domestic abuse, addictions, or other events transpired in the household, bring the relevant documents to the court. Evidence could be police reports of domestic violence, photographs, witness statements, hospital records of drug overdoses, alcohol poisoning, etc. The judge needs to have a clear picture of what your spouse is like so they can make an informed decision as to who stays with the kids.

5. Adhere to Courtroom Etiquette

Shouting matches outside or inside the courthouse are hardly an epitome of level-headedness between parents. You must remain even-keeled when things get heated, as they most often do. Arrive on time, and present yourself as a competent and loving parent.

Custody hearings are not usually adversarial, but it doesn't hurt to prepare. Practice answering questions with your lawyer ahead to the meeting and be ready for the unexpected such as malicious accusations. Your ex could be playing nice in person only to badmouth you in court to paint you as an unfit parent.

6. Appeal the Custody Order

There is no jury, and the judge will decide after hearing both parties and issue a child custody decree. If the ruling is not what you hoped for, you can appeal the order and have another hearing date set. Parents who are pursuing sole custody must apply the Better Parent Standard. This guideline requires you to successfully convince the judge that you are more befitting parent over your ex, and this is not always easy to prove.

Find an Experienced San Diego Family Law Attorney Near Me

Child custody is daunting for many parents, and the stress can take a toll. You may not be familiar with California's family laws, and this will impact how well you exercise parental rights. San Diego Family Law Attorney is experienced in deliberating these cases and helping clients arrive at amicable solutions. We understand how the system works and are ready to use this knowledge to help you win custody. Contact us today at 619-610-7425 to consult with the best legal minds in town.

If you need a divorce or family law attorney in Los Angeles here is lawyer you can reach: Los Angeles Divorce Lawyer